Aren't I beautiful?
by Jordaristoteles
Summary: Shouji knew he wasn't beautiful, and he was fine with it; until he meets him. Yantober. Yandere Shouji Mezou. One-sided Shouji Mezou/Tokoyami Fumikage. Warnings inside.


Disclaimer: Boku no hero Academia/My hero academia doesn't belong to me.

Sorry if this is difficult to read, I still learning English and I don't have a beta reader.

This is part of a Tumblr prompt called "Yantober."

Remember: This behavior is toxic, if somebody you know is saying or doing stuff like this, call out immediately.

Warnings: Yandere Shouji Mezou, Self-Esteem Issues, Jealousy, Self-Mutilation, Crossdressing, Delusional.

* * *

Aren't I beautiful?

Shouji knew he wasn't beautiful.

Unless you were attracted to, ehem, odd things, he wasn't considered elite of attractive people in the world; he knew the majority of people have only 2 arms and didn't have a jaw extra fangs who were out of their lips, not to mention he was the taller in his class-even more than the teacher-that only make him look dangerous.

And he was okay with it, the majority of the time; romance wasn't something for people like him and he was more centered in his path as a hero, where at least his type of body has some advantage. Obviously, he had his moments of weakness, like any other teenager; nothing that bad though.

Until _he_ happens.

Like him, Tokoyami have a different appearance, not extra limbs, but a head more proper of a bird than a human; he is once occasion told him how in the past had problems with bullies asking if he was an animal or not. What was stupid if you ask him, because the difference between the two of them, is that Tokoyami was actually handsome.

Maybe is because he was also mutant; yet he though feathers were more elegant and shinier than any regular hair a model could have, his glare serious and enigmatic than not even stoic people as Todoroki couldn't imitate. Even if he was only his head the one who was a bird, his body had a little resemblance of one; small and thin, making him fast and effective in ways his corpulent body never could.

Not that he was jealous, at all, he was attracted for it.

They understood each other easily, words weren't needed most of the time; the peaceful silence between the two was comfortable and calm in ways he never had with other people, who were just afraid to talk. That was not the case, they just didn't need words for communicating; it was maybe that what makes him like Tokoyami first.

He never got deeply connections-that was one of the reasons he was a lonely person, he didn't have social skills as the rest of his classmates-so it was mostly a surprise when they could sit next to each other in the roof of the building, eating their lunch in silence, and was the best moment he had with another person that wasn't his family.

" _It was Destiny? Love? Or both?_ " He doesn't have an answer for it, yet it wasn't needed anyway. He only needed to know that at his side, he was feeling comfortable; with his skin, with his life, and that was the only thing that matter.

At least for some time, it was.

He…Didn't like it, knowing that he needed to share the attention of his Fumikage with others; it made him feel unease the idea that perhaps he wasn't that special, or maybe that it was only important for him and for Tokoyami, was like any other friendship.

Sometimes he thought he reciprocated his feelings; when he chooses him in scholar projects, waiting for him to the roof to eat, or being only them in the way to their houses before summer. If it was only with him, that means he prefers his company, right? That he was also feeling nice and special _and amazing_ at his side, correct?

He wanted that, so badly.

Then…then the doubts started again, thanks to her.

Tsuyu was technically not looking as normal as other teenagers, but between the three she was the closer; only his eyes and tong being really different, and that could count as something attractive depending on who you asked. She was also slim and with curves-not exaggerating ones, but still there-, moving with a precision that could be scary at times, controlling her moves in a way you shouldn't underestimate her in combat.

It started with the final test on the summer, and that was fine for him; like, Tokoyami didn't choose her, it was the teachers, so talking alone for the strategy was only logical; is not like stopped liking Fumikage anymore for talking with Hagakure, it was necessary, only that.

But then, they start talking more; asking for homework at first- " _That is fine, everybody has their questions, not to worry_ "- how he was advancing in the exercises and with Dark Shadow –" _Only curiosity, maybe rivalry, nothing important, right? Right?_ "- and then…the territory was likes, dislikes, hobbies and _that is not just chatting, isn't?_

He may forgive her is she was interested in him, it would be a hypocrite not understand that she saw Tokoyami as incredible as Mezou did. He was attractive, intriguing, powerful and something about him just absorbed you to want more. He could be jealous of his desire to know him, but he was familiarized with it; so, he endures it and keeps quiet.

It was unforgivable when he started reciprocating, however.

Why did he want to know how she was doing with her own moves? She only has the quirk of a frog, nothing than interesting; she couldn't even hold a candle at his side. Why did he want to know about her day? They are in the same class, it can be really interesting, less with somebody as dull as her.

The last drop that makes the cup run over? It was when he was looking for her in the dorms; the freaking dorms.

Being bored in the class and talking to pass the time was one thing, but using your personal time to it? That was it; he could forgive her to try to be closer to him, yet, making her interesting enough to get his attention is a crime he would not let pass.

Also, why her? She was a boring person, the most interesting fact about her personality it was for being honest and straight to the point, not really alluring at all. She was far weaker than any of them, he could crush her with half of his arms if he wanted to. It only left one faction left: Beauty.

Slimmer, more normal; characteristic that he couldn't have for his arms and type of body. If he only could be more like her…

Oh wait, he could do something.

* * *

The things haven't been too easy for Fumikage this last weeks.

He was fairly well in school, everything okay with his parents and even Dark Shadow didn't make any problems in the dorms, what was a surprise for him because the last thing he would want is to hurt anybody in the place that they were supposed to be safe. It was more…his social life.

It was unexpected he had any, really; he had been bully great part of his life and needed to be alone most of the time, because if he lost control of Dark Shadow could hurt others, so he didn't have the luxury of having friends growing out. It was a surprise that in the UA people not only looking so weird out for him-actually, but others were also looking more odd-but that history of being a misfit wasn't exclusive.

He wanted to try, at least; Mezou was good with it. Quiet, quite intimidating at first but not really a threat, and like it to being together just to eat and wasn't nosy; he could relax at his side knowing it would not be uncomfortable or would make a fool of himself for being so shy; somehow, it was like he understood his situation. He even complimented his feathers; Tokoyami thought he was only being nice and didn't really mean it, but was kind for him to take in consideration his feelings.

He could talk with Midoriya or Koda time to time, not a friendship, more like an acquaintance; it didn't matter that much for him. His friendship with Shouji was good enough.

While it makes sense to be together as that, Asui was a surprise-well, Tsuyu, she prefers it that others call her by her first name-.

She never freaked out, being calm and steady in the worsts of the situations; with an inexpressive face like his, so they had that in common. She was friendly with everybody, like expecting had a good relationship with all her classmates-well, not Mineta or Bakugou, almost all then-so somehow, make a way to his stubborn self and strange personality and became closer.

That was fine, two friends were more than any other number of friends he had before; so was okay.

The problem about never had friends before, is that when unexpected things happen, you don't know how to react when they had issues.

Shouji wasn't do it okay, he could tell. At first was forgetting lunch all the time or just getting a fruit, then he notices he was getting more and more pale, and his body was getting more skeletal than his muscular self. He asked if he was okay or sick, but he insisting that was trying something new and it would be totally fine when it was over.

He wanted to believe it, really; yet seeing how it was being more difficult for him to stay focus in class, complete exercise and even being lifting things that he could do in no sweat now being difficult; it was impossible. There was no way this was okay; he was destroying himself, and whatever got in his mind, needed to stop.

If only he could know how.

Tsuyu say to be honest and talk about his concerns, yet that demonstrated to be ineffective. He would say thanks and explain that was just a plan he needed to do, for a certain goal that for some reason needed to stay secret. He started cooking in order to force him to eat, sometimes with excuses like " _I did more than I needed it_ " to not over overwhelm Shouji, in others straight telling that he needed it more than an apple. Sadly, he couldn't keep an eye all the time, and he was getting worse and worse.

That night, he may get what going on.

He requested to see him outside, it was still in the territory of the school but was more like a garden, one club of the general studies taking care of that part; he asks him to see each other at ten, in the beginning of the walk of Cherry Trees. He was confused why saw the other one if they were living together, especially at night and it in a place know more for their romantic dates than comfortable conversations between friends. Yet, he said that he would explain everything that night and just to be there on time.

It was the beginning of spring, the trees weren't blooming yet, but some buds were started growing out, and green reclaiming more and more of the earth, leaving behind the snow and while view to let the sun take places of the fields once again. While being at night, the wind was swinging branches, in an ancestral dance as old as light and darkness.

He was rambling again, he tried to change his language-he knew their classmates consider him weird for use those phrases that belonged more in a novel than a teenager-yet, old habits die hard.

He clung more to his coat, a little bored for the wait, but denying himself to move even a little of his place; if Tokoyami had the possibility know what was happening to his best friend then he could actually help him, and make him recover of whatever was going on. And that was possibility he was going to take, didn't matter now.

Some steps were in the distance, loud enough that couldn't belong to any animal that could live then, and being the area it was, he could only mean Shouji; however, when he was starting to define the silhouette, he had doubts; not extra limbs, long hair and what appeared to be a long skirt, that couldn't been him.

But the figure steeped in the light of the streetlight, and Tokoyami saw with horror what was in front of him.

It was Mezou, yet the change was so radical he only could tell by his eyes. His skin was definitely more pale, lighter than him if he was looking right. H-He didn't have extra limbs, there was only two arms; almost being bones and skin only, but with hands and nothing else; the shirt he was wearing, blue with long sleeves, fit to his body so well that he was sure beneath it, were bandages. He wasn't wearing a mask, but his teeth were different; he saw his mouth before, somehow his fangs were small enough to be more of a vampire than from him, it was like somebody file his teeth.

Somehow, that was not the most disturbing thing.

The hair was long indeed, but couldn't belong to him, this was all the way to his back, and was dark green, just like…just like Tsuyu-chan. And then, he is aware of something else; the green maxi skirt he was wearing, that belonged to her.

His eyes grow wider in horror; the pale skin, the slim body, the hair…no, no way, he couldn't do-

"How is it?" He said in a soft voice; the tone was low, like he had been in pain. However, he looked happy "Aren't I beautiful?"

* * *

I be honest, I'm tired as fuck and I didn't properly edit this, I will do it tomorrow; but now I'm so sleepy I know even if I read it to check mistakes, I will lost a lot. Sorry if this is not readable.

Was a busy day, yet of course, I refused to not do the challenge, so despite having things in my way at night, I manage to finish this somehow; I tried to make more situations and not just monologue, I guess I did it, partially at least. Also, is good being back with crazy yanderes; like sad and suicidal are good, but is great go with the classics, right?

Also, Tsuyu and Tokoyami? all was inside Shouji's mind, nothing romantic or so was happening, they were just friends.

And yes, again late in ff net. I know.

I had more to say but I'm so tired I forgot, the next one is...locked forever. No clue, but almost none of this were with previous idea, so yeah.

See ya.


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